This guy came in off the street, begging us to write for Maelstrom. He seemed pretty dodgy, but after he showed us what a great guitarist he was and how his writing skills had potential, we decided to let him stay on.
Also, he said he had come all the way from Lemuria. Wherever the hell that is.
He wanted us to call him Bilarius Hogbinder. You should have seen his face when we told him Harry Potter wasn't real.